Blood and Water
by Fire Dancer1
Summary: An alternate universe fic...What if Jasna Kovac had survived the bombing in Vukovar? CHAPTER 3 NOW UPLOADED
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This story is basically my speculation on this question: What if Jasna Kovac had survived the bombing in Vukovar?  Things you need to know:  It takes place around the middle of season 6, so any character development we've seen since then is irrelevant.  Also, since this is season 6, Luka and Abby are not together.  They are, however, better acquainted than they were in the real season 6.  For simplicity's sake, Luka never had anything with Carol besides friendship.  There is no hotel; Luka and Jasna live in an apartment.  Jasna is 14 years old (forgive me if that's not accurate, but I'm not sure if anyone knows how old she'd really be).  Abby is a nurse – the med school thing didn't happen.  What?  It's _my alternate universe, so I can do what I want! J  Hopefully everything else will become clear as the story progresses._

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the familiar characters; they belong to NBC and whomever else; I am making no money off this; it is for entertainment only; yadda yadda yadda.

Archives: Sure, go ahead.  Just let me know where.

Blood and Water – Part 1

by Kate

_He was drowning.  Sinking deeper and deeper in the water, and he thought it would be futile to struggle anymore.  Until he heard a sound – a sound that made him reconsider.  So he began struggling again, struggling to the surface, pulling the water with his powerful arms until he broke the surface, gasping._

Luka lay in bed for a few moments, wondering what had woken him from his dream.  He listened carefully in the darkened room until he heard it again – a quiet whimpering coming from down the hall.  Running a hand across his face, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up.  As he walked down the hall, the whimpering became louder, changing into cries and sobs.  He pushed open the door of his daughter's room and turned on the small lamp on the desk beside the door.  In the soft light, he could see her thrashing on the bed, her fists clenched to her chest.  Kneeling by her bed, he grasped her shoulders gently.  "Wake up, Jasna.  Wake up, it's only a dream," he whispered.  Jasna's eyes fluttered and closed again as she frowned and muttered something incoherent.  "Jas, wake up," Luka urged again, a bit louder.

She gasped and her body jerked as if someone had hit her.  Her gaze, still haunted by sleep and dreams, swung wildly around the room until it came to rest on her father.  He smiled gently and smoothed the hair from her sweaty forehead.  "You were dreaming, honey."  Luka had learned long ago that it was better to talk his daughter through the process of waking up after a nightmare than to let her go it alone.  "You're awake now."  He watched as she unclenched her fists and scrubbed her palms across her wet face.  "You're awake, Jasna," he repeated.

Jasna sighed shakily and nodded.   "I'm awake," she murmured, almost as if to convince herself.

Luka continued stroking her forehead until her breathing slowed.  "Okay now?" he asked, knowing she wouldn't want to talk about her dream.  She was often exhausted after being woken up from a nightmare, and the last thing she was willing to do was relive it for her father.

"Okay," she agreed, yawning.  She swiped her hands across her face once more as Luka pulled the blanket back over her shoulders.  "I'm just tired…" she mumbled, already drifting off.

Luka stood, staring down at his sleeping daughter.  She still had a tense look on her face, even in sleep, and he hoped her slumber would be uninterrupted for the rest of the night.  He gently deposited a kiss on her forehead before returning to his bedroom.  Lying in bed, he stared up at the ceiling, sleep out of his grasp.  He would never have dreamed, fourteen years ago, how his life would change because of that tiny baby in the hospital bassinette.  That tiny baby, who had grown into such a beautiful girl, a beautiful girl who was haunted by terrible dreams, a beautiful girl who had no mother to kiss her tears away.

~*~

Walking into the kitchen, Jasna tossed her school bag onto the table and headed for the refrigerator.  As she pulled out a carton of orange juice and poured herself a glass, Luka looked up from the paper.  "Good morning," he ventured.  She made a noncommittal sound in her throat, sipping the juice and absently tugging on a stray strand of dark hair by her face.  She was always like this the morning after a nightmare – guarded, cautious, almost sullen.  He'd become used to it, but that didn't mean he gave up trying.  "Jas, how about something to eat?"

She shook her head, placing the glass in the sink and settling her bag over her shoulder.  "I'm not hungry.  And I'll be late for the bus."  As he opened his mouth to protest, she glanced at him, a ghost of a smile crossing her features.  "I know, I know.  Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.  Here."  She grabbed a Pop Tart from the box on the counter and turned to leave.

Luka got up from the table, following his daughter to the door.  "Jasna, last night…Do you want to talk about it?"

She snorted softly.  "I have to go," she said.  "You have the late shift tonight, right?  So I'll see you tomorrow?"  Luka hardly had time to answer in the affirmative before the door closed behind her and her voice barely floated back to him.  "'Bye, Tata." 

He sank back into his chair, sighing heavily.  "I love you, Jasna," he whispered to the door.

~*~

"Dr. Kovac?"  The voice sounded like it was coming from very far away.  He shifted his body slightly and tried to ignore it.  "Dr. Kovac?"  Whoever it was, was persistent.  "Dr. Kovac?"

Luka grunted, forcing his eyes open.  He could barely make out the figure standing in the doorway.  Squinting against the light coming in from the hallway, he identified Abby Lockhart.  He rubbed his palm across his face, hoping he hadn't been drooling.  "Yes?"

She stepped farther into the room.  "We've got a multiple MVA coming in, ETA 5 minutes.  I'm sorry," She shifted on her feet slightly, looking embarrassed, "but you said to wake you if…"

He sat up, unfolding his long legs from the couch and waving his right hand in response to her apology.  "It's okay, I'm awake."  Standing up, he stretched slowly and shook his head, trying to shake the sleep from his brain.  "What time is it?"

"10:30," she responded, and moved aside to let him out the door of the lounge.  "Coffee?"  She offered the styrofoam cup she'd been holding.  "I thought you might need some."

Luka sighed gratefully, taking the proffered cup.  "Thank you."  He took a sip, grimacing at the taste but thankful for the fact that it was caffeinated.

Together, they walked out to the ambulance bay.  Leaning against the building, Luka tried, unsuccessfully, to stifle a yawn.  Abby glanced at him.  "You okay?"  He gave her a questioning look as her face reddened.  "Sorry…I mean…well, no one's ever seen you sleep while you're here."  She looked to the ground, shuffling her feet self-consciously.  Silently, she chided herself.  Not quite as bad as the classic "you look tired" comment, but close.

Luka chuckled softly.  "I don't think I have before.  That couch, it is too short."  He shook his right leg a bit to emphasize his point as Abby laughed.  Feeling as if he had to explain himself, he continued.  "My daughter, she has been having a lot of…bad dreams?"

Abby nodded.  "Nightmares?" she supplied.

"Yes, nightmares.  I think I worry too much, because afterward, I never sleep."  Abby was staring intently at him as he spoke, and now it was Luka's turn to look embarrassed.  He hadn't meant to tell anyone about his personal life, about his worries for Jasna, but there was just something…something about Abby that made him want to keep talking.  And he might have, had Malucci not come outside at that moment.

"You guys waiting for the overdose?" Dave asked, oblivious to the fact that neither Luka nor Abby looked very happy to see him.

Abby cleared her throat.  "No, the MVA."

Dave nodded as an ambulance sped into the bay.  "Well, I hope that's yours, because I was planning on a longer break than this," he said as the paramedics wheeled a gurney towards the doors.

Tossing his coffee cup into the garbage bin, Luka shot Abby a quick smile before grabbing the gurney.  "Okay, let's go.  What do we have?"

~*~

Luka unlocked the door and tiptoed into the apartment, trying to be as quiet as possible so as not to wake Jasna.  Setting his keys and jacket on the table, he noticed a scribbled note from Jasna, a phone message about his car's repairs.  She had signed the note simply with a heart.

Luka smiled softly.  What had he done to deserve such a daughter?  He headed for his bedroom but paused by her door, opening it a crack.  The light from the hallway barely illuminated the figure on the bed, and he had to strain his eyes to see.  Yes, she was sleeping peacefully.  Luka felt a familiar ache in the pit of his stomach as he watched his daughter sleep.  Her dark hair was fanned out on her pillow and in one hand she clutched the stuffed frog, Žaba, that she'd had since birth.  Sometimes she looked so much like her mother that Luka could scarcely believe it.  He was filled with such an overwhelming combination of love and sorrow that he could barely breathe.  "She's a good girl, Danijela," he whispered.  "You would be proud of her.  But am I doing things right?  The way you would?"  He trailed off and stepped back, closing the door carefully.  "I'm trying, Danijela.  I really am…"

to be continued…


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who reviewed!  Here's part two – and see part one for disclaimer, background, and other relevant information.  Enjoy, and reviews are always appreciated! J

Blood and Water – Part 2

by Kate

She watched him out of the corner of her eye as she stood at admit.  He had always intrigued her, ever since she first met him.  Luka the doctor intrigued her – he was talented and compassionate, if a bit unorthodox with his treatment of anyone who'd inflicted pain on another.  Luka the co-worker intrigued her – he was one of the few doctors who bothered to greet her each day and actually wait for a response, and if he wasn't busy, he never had a problem doing his own scut work.  Luka the man – well, she wouldn't be a heterosexual female if Luka the man didn't make her a bit weak in the knees.

But this was a new dimension to Luka Kovac that had never crossed Abby's mind – Luka the father.  She had never considered the possibility; then, she shouldn't have been surprised.  She'd seen how he was with young patients.  Always quick to put them at ease, and fiercely protective.  Like a father.  Like the father he apparently was.  Abby had heard the rumors around the ER, rumors of Luka's family being killed in the war, but she should have known better than to believe ER rumors. Obviously, his family was very much alive.  
This new dimension to this man made her uneasy. She had always thought him out of her league, not that she was looking. The accent, the looks, the genuine politeness…He was just too good to be true, she and Chuny had decided. But now – now, Abby found herself feeling even more inadequate around him. She had always been uncomfortable around people her age who were parents. At the back of her mind was always the question: what if they knew? What if they knew how close she had come to being _one of them_ – a parent herself?

"Abby?"  His voice pulled her out of her reverie and she looked up at him, slightly flustered.  "Would you start an IV in curtain one please?"

She placed the charts she'd been flipping through back on the counter.  "Sure," she said as she headed towards curtain one.  She glanced at her watch.  Just one more hour and she could leave.

~*~

Luka paused at the doorway to the supply room, watching Abby stock new packages of gloves on the shelves.  He normally would have kept walking to the lounge so he could get out of the hospital before another trauma came in and he was recruited to stay longer, but today something – some_one, more accurately – made him take that chance.  He had been surprised to discover he was attracted to this woman, this woman he barely knew and who was so unlike his wife.  He leaned against the doorframe, smiling to himself as she checked her watch.  He knew her shift was over too, and sure enough, she placed the last box on the shelf and sighed, turning around._

Abby started in surprise to see him standing in the doorway.  "Dr. Kovac," she nodded in greeting.

He tipped his head, smiling again.  "Please.  Call me Luka."  He moved aside to let her out of the room and fell into step beside her.

"Okay, _Luka," she complied, "can I do anything for you?"_

Pushing the door to the lounge open, he protested.  "No, no, of course not.  Your shift is over."

She glanced at him, amused.  "You're right.  But that doesn't usually stop _someone from wanting __something else before I leave."  She dropped her eyes, embarrassed at being caught complaining._

Luka chuckled.  "Well, then, we'd better get out of here before the big bad doctors come looking for you."

Twirling the lock on her locker, Abby groaned.  "I didn't mean…"  She sighed, pulling her belongings out and closing the locker door.

"I know," he laughed good-naturedly, taking her coat and opening it.  "Here, let me."  He held the garment for her and guided her arms into the sleeves as Abby looked up at him, surprised.

"Thank you," she responded, a bit baffled.  She wasn't used to men opening doors and holding coats for her.  European chivalry, she supposed.  And she wasn't about to complain.

As they walked together out of the hospital, Luka casually motioned in the direction of Doc Magoo's.  "Do you want some coffee?"  She looked at him, surprised again, as he hurried to explain.  "You brought me coffee Wednesday; it's the least I can do."

"Oh, God, that coffee Wednesday was made by Randi.  In the coffee pot in the lounge.  In other words, no human should have to drink it.  You don't owe me anything."

"No, really," he insisted, "It saved my life.  I would never have been able to finish my shift if you didn't give me that coffee."  He took her arm lightly, guiding her towards the restaurant.  "Please, let me treat you.  It's just coffee."

Abby smiled.  He was right – it was just coffee.  "Well, when you put it that way…If I saved your life…"  She let him lead her into Doc Magoo's, where they took a booth near the window.

After ordering, Abby sat uncomfortably under Luka's gaze.  Why wasn't he saying anything?  She searched for some safe topic of conversation.  "Slow day today, wasn't it?"

Luka nodded in agreement.  "It's Friday.  I think people do not want to come to the hospital on their weekend.  They'd rather wait until Monday so they can miss work."

Abby chuckled.  "Hey, if that's what it takes, why not?"  She shook her head.  "I wonder what it's like, never having to work weekends."

He gave an exaggerated gasp.  "How do they live?  Aren't their lives boring?  I wouldn't know what to do with two days off in a row."

"I really hope you're being facetious," Abby groaned, "because I can think of plenty of things to do with two free days."  They both leaned back as the waitress brought two steaming mugs of coffee to the table.  Abby shook two sugar packets into her mug and smiled her thanks to the waitress.

Luka, sipping his black coffee, leaned forward again.  "So, tell me.  What would you do if you had two free days?"

Abby closed her eyes, thinking.  "I'd go to Florida."  She opened her eyes to find Luka with a surprised look on his face.

"Florida?" he repeated, "Isn't that a bit far for a weekend trip?"

She tipped her head, agreeing with him.  "I guess I'd need more than a weekend for Florida.  So, for my weekend away, I'd go…I don't know, I'd stay home and sleep, I guess."

Luka held a hand up to stop her.  "Wait, wait.  You can't say Florida and not explain.  What's in Florida that you would go all the way there and back in two days?  What's there that Chicago can't offer?  The beach?  Come on, it can't be _that exciting, can it?"_

"My brother, Eric," Abby explained, laughing.  "He's in the Air Force, stationed in Florida.  I haven't seen him in a couple years.  Haven't even met his fiancé yet."  She paused.  "And the beach is there too, of course."  She stirred her spoon in her coffee absently.  "So, what would _you do with a weekend off?"_

"I would take my daughter to see Chicago," he answered matter-of-factly.

Abby raised her eyebrows, puzzled.  "You _live in Chicago.  Doesn't she see it every day?"_

Luka shrugged.  "She sees our apartment.  She sees her school, her friends' houses, the grocery store…It's not really Chicago, you know?  I would take her to the museums, to Navy Pier…"

"Ah, I see.  The tourist bit."  Abby nodded.  "How old is she?"

"Fourteen.  She just started high school," he added proudly, taking another sip of his coffee.

Abby slapped her hand on the tabletop as if a revelation had just come to her.  "She's fourteen?  You can't show her Chicago without taking her to the Magnificent Mile."

Luka looked puzzled.  "The Magnificent Mile?"

"Michigan Avenue.  Shopping," Abby explained.  "Lots of high-end stores for her to window-shop at.  And if she's a fourteen-year-old girl whose father is buying, she'll be in heaven."

He grimaced.  "Please don't give her any ideas.  My wife loved shopping.  I'm hoping Jasna didn't inherit that from her."

Abby laughed.  "Not a shopper, Dr. Kovac?  I'm shocked."  Luka chuckled with her, and she continued.  "Well, I'm sure she'd love it just as much if her mother was buying."

A pained look crossed Luka's face.  "My wife…she's not…ah, the war, you know…"  He looked down, tracing the pattern in the tablecloth distractedly.

So the rumors were true.  A knot settled in Abby's stomach as she wondered what she'd done by bringing it up.  "Luka…I'm sorry," she whispered, reaching her hands towards his.  She had second thoughts, though, and settled her hands awkwardly on the table in front of her.  "I'm sorry," she repeated again softly.

Luka snapped himself out of his melancholy thoughts and lifted his head.  "It's okay," he assured her, smiling weakly.  He stirred his coffee and placed the spoon on the table.  "So…" he began, wanting to take the focus off of himself, "What about you?  Marriage?  Children?"

Abby wondered momentarily if she should pursue the talk of Luka's family, but decided to drop it. He obviously didn't want to discuss it further.  "That's an interesting question," she hedged, smiling wryly.  "Yes.  No.  No.  That's the short answer."

He grinned.  "It certainly was short.  But you gave three answers."

"A very astute observation," Abby agreed, nodding.  "Yes and no to marriage.  My divorce will be final in..." She glanced at the calendar on the wall behind the counter.  "…three weeks.  Three weeks exactly."  She looked almost surprised by the realization.

Luka wondered how he was supposed to respond to that comment.  Congratulations?  Condolences?  "I'm sorry," he tried.

Smiling softly again, Abby shook her head.  "It's okay; I'm not that sorry.  It's been over for a long time."  She sighed, setting her empty coffee mug on the edge of the table.  "Three weeks is just a formality, making it legal.  I think maybe it was over before it even began, you know?"

He nodded.  "And the last 'no' was for children?" he wondered.

Abby looked down at the table as a strange look came over her features.  It passed quickly, though, and Luka dismissed it as his imagination.  "No, no children," she confirmed.  "I'm glad, you know?  Richard – my husband – and I had no business being married to each other, and to force children to be a part of that…" She shook her head.  "It hasn't been pretty.  And kids…well, it's hard enough on them when their parents don't get along.  To drag them through a divorce on top of that…So it's good.  I'll just be glad when this is over."  She ran her right hand through her hair, and for the first time Luka noticed how tired she looked.

The two sat silently for a while, both lost in their own thoughts.  Finally, Luka glanced at his watch and cleared his throat.  "I'm sorry, I should get going.  Jasna will be home from school soon, and..."

"Oh!  Of course," Abby said quickly.  "I should get going too."

They stood up and Abby started to open her purse.  Luka stopped her with a hand on her arm.  "My treat, remember?"  He placed money on the table as he spoke.

Sensing it would be futile to argue, Abby dropped her hand.  "Thank you.  Very much.  I had a good time."  And suddenly, she felt as if she had been on a date.  She tried to block that thought from her mind.

"I had a good time, too," Luka smiled, leading her out the door.  "Can I give you a ride?"

The offer sounded tempting.  A little _too tempting, perhaps.  "No thanks, I usually take the El."  She began walking towards the El stop with Luka following behind her._

"If you change your mind…" he called after her.

She turned to look at him again.  "You'll be the first to know."  She paused as they both looked at each other, wondering what to say.  "Goodbye, Luka."

He merely tipped his head towards her, turned, and walked away with a smile.

~*~

"_Tata, are you home?" came Jasna's voice through the apartment._

Luka set down the charts he was working on.  "In the living room, Jas."  His daughter ambled into the living room, threw her bag down on the floor, and flopped onto the couch beside him with a great sigh.  He chuckled at her overly dramatic entrance.  "Rough day?"

She groaned.  "Mrs. Jacoby gave us a pop quiz in geometry.  A _pop quiz!  Can you believe it?"_

"Not at all," Luka joked.  "Where is the justice in that?  She should be fired, don't you think?"

Jasna threw up her hands.  "Exactly!  That's exactly what Brad said, and then he got kicked out of class.  _Can you believe it?"_

Luka just laughed, patting her shoulder as she continued to mutter under her breath about the injustices of high school.  "I need a vacation," was her next declaration.

Getting an idea, Luka turned to face his daughter.  "The next time I have a weekend off, how would you like to go to the Magnificent Mile?"

"The Magnificent Mile?" Jasna repeated.

"Sure, do you know what that is?"

She rolled her eyes.  "Of _course I know what it is.  Michigan Avenue.  Shopping.  But, __Tata, you hate shopping!"_

Luka placed his hand on his forehead and gave a long-suffering sigh.  "I know.  But I suppose I could handle it for one day…that is, if you want to."

He got his answer from the grin that crossed his daughter's face.  "Yes!  I'd love to."  She leaned up against him, her head on his shoulder.

Kissing the top of her head, Luka smiled.  "Thank you," he whispered.

Jasna frowned, shifting her body a bit.  "For what?"

"For being my daughter," he responded simply.

to be continued…


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Please see part one for disclaimer and other relevant information.  Thanks so much for all the kind reviews!  Enjoy part 3…

Blood and Water – Part 3

Abby smiled brightly as Luka approached admit, charts in hand.  "Good morning!"

The doctor slapped the charts down on the desk and leaned on his elbows.  "You," he said sternly, ignoring her greeting, "are in trouble."

Raising her eyebrows innocently, Abby leaned forward slightly.  "And whatever did I do?"  She took the stack of charts from Luka and began placing them in the correct files on the desk.

"The Magnificent Mile?  Shopping?"  He acknowledged her help with the charts by nodding in thanks before continuing.  "You said it would be a good idea," he accused.

Amused, Abby gave a short, disbelieving laugh.  "You took her?  I didn't think you'd actually go."

"Oh, we went.  Yesterday."  Luka shook his head.  "Jasna loved it.  I have never been so tired."  As if to emphasize his point, he sagged his body lower and closer to the desktop, giving an exaggerated sigh.

Abby chuckled and hit him lightly on the arm with a chart.  "I feel _so sorry for you."_

Luka gave one more sigh for good measure as Weaver walked up to admit.  "I don't know if you've noticed," she commented sarcastically, "but the board is filling up.  Keep your personal lives on your own time."  She crutched away, throwing a backwards glance at the two standing at the desk.

Abby rolled her eyes as Malucci smirked at them.  "I don't care if you're screwing each other on your own time," the other doctor mimicked in a perfect imitation of Weaver's voice, "but just don't do it in my ER."  He ignored Abby's embarrassed grimace and chose instead to smirk at Luka's confused expression.

"Screwing each other?" Luka whispered to Abby as they walked together to the board.

"Oh, God," Abby mumbled, "Never mind."  As far as she knew, Luka had so far been spared knowing what the rest of the ER gossips had been saying about the two of them for the past couple weeks.  She wasn't about to enlighten him herself.

~*~

Frank stuck his head into exam one.  "Abby, your husband is here."

A vision of Richard lying on a gurney flashed before her mind's eye.  "Richard's here?  What happened?"

"I don't know," Frank said, shrugging uninterestedly, "He's waiting for you in the lounge."

Abby sighed.  So much for the satisfaction of seeing Richard helpless and in pain.  She looked at Dr. Greene, who nodded towards the door.  "Go.  We've got this covered."  She walked out into the hallway and towards the lounge, dreading this confrontation.  She had no idea what Richard wanted, but she was guessing it wasn't a friendly visit he was making.  No, she and Richard were not exactly on friendly terms lately.  She pushed open the door to the lounge and, with a cursory glance at her soon-to-be ex-husband, headed to the coffee pot.  "Richard, I'm working.  You can't just come in here and expect me to drop everything," she complained, pouring herself a cup of the lukewarm coffee.  She needed a cigarette, badly.

"Oh, _excuse me."  Richard rose from his seat at the table and joined her at the counter.  "But what am I supposed to do when you don't even return my calls?"_

Abby tapped her foot against the tile floor and sipped her coffee exasperatedly.  She could feel the tension start to build at the base of her neck and wondered if she'd bought more Excedrin at her last trip to the store.  "You've called me once, Richard.  You left a message _yesterday.  I wouldn't get too bent out of shape about that, since I was planning on calling you back today."  She set the cup down on the counter.   "__After work," she added pointedly and walked across the room to her locker.  Anything to keep her moving, to keep her mind at least partly off of this conversation.  "What's so urgent?"  Distracted, she opened her locker and peered inside.  For what, she had no idea.  Slamming the door, she turned around to face him again.  "Well?"_

Richard jiggled his keys in his pocket, a sure sign that he was annoyed.  "I can't make it to the meeting tomorrow."

"What?  Richard!"  Abby just stared at him, trembling inside.  "Is this fun for you?  Damn it, Richard, this is the last meeting with the lawyers."  She looked away, not knowing whether to kick the locker or Richard's shin.  Or his groin.  She let herself relish that thought for a moment.  She needed to kick _something, that was for sure.  Where was a punching bag when you needed one?  "The __last one," she repeated angrily.  "You can't even be there for that?"_

"Will you stop for a minute?" he shot back.  "Listen.  All we had to discuss was the apartment, right?"

Abby nodded warily.  She could smell his set-ups from a mile away.

"Well, I'll make it easy.  You take the apartment."  Abby shot him a look, not willing to believe that there was no catch.  Richard smirked, obviously pleased that he'd caught her off-guard.  "I'll call the lawyers and tell them that's what we decided.  This way we won't have to deal with any more meetings; it'll all be finished.  Plus, I don't need the apartment."

Of course.  She'd known there was some reason he'd suddenly decided to be so benevolent.  _I don't need the apartment.  A nice reminder of the house he'd bought for his girlfriend with __their savings.  It had happened a year ago and Abby was surprised at the hurt that still came from remembering.  "Don't do me any favors, Richard."_

Richard made a sarcastic noise in his throat.  "No, heaven forbid you accept _anything from __anyone. __God, Abby.  You want the apartment or not?  Take it or leave it, but I'm not going to be at the meeting."_

"Okay."  Abby looked at the floor, not able to meet his eyes.  She took a deep breath.  "Thank you."  It hurt to say those words to him, of all people.  Her pride screamed at her to reject his offer, or to at least insist he come to the meeting, but she _did need a place to live after this was all over.  She scuffed her toe on the tile floor, almost embarrassed._

"Okay," Richard nodded.  "So that's it?  I'll call the lawyers, get you the lease papers."

He turned to leave the lounge and Abby panicked, not willing to trust Richard, given his track record that she knew all too well.  "If you screw me over on this, Richard…"  Immediately she regretted saying it – maybe he would actually follow through this time.  But then again…

Richard turned back around with his mouth open, poised to say something, but just shook his head, leaving the room.  As he left, he held the door open for Luka, who glanced at the other man before joining Abby by the coffee maker.  "Who was that?" he asked, inclining his head towards the door.

Abby moved over to the couch, sinking down and trying to let her body relax.  "That was Richard," she answered dully.

Luka raised his eyebrows as the name and the tone of her voice left a bitter taste in his mouth.  "Your husband." he confirmed, sitting down next to her.  "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she sighed, rubbing the back of her neck where the tension was building.  "Yeah, I'm fine…"  Needing a change of topic, she smiled brightly, perhaps a bit too brightly, at Luka.  "You want some lunch?"

He looked closely at her before standing up.  "Lunch sounds good," he hesitated, not able to keep from worrying about her.  Without noticing he was doing it, Luka kept his hand lightly on the small of Abby's back as they walked out of the lounge.

As had become their custom over the past few weeks when they worked the same shift, Luka and Abby got their lunches from the cafeteria and took them outside along the river to eat.  Sitting on a bench, Abby drew her jacket around her and watched the leaves on the sidewalk being blown about by the early fall wind.  "It'll be getting cold soon," she commented absently, picking at her chicken salad sandwich.

"Mmhm," Luka agreed as he spread cream cheese on his bagel.  Watching her out of the corner of his eye, he recognized her tired, defeated expression as she fumbled with a cigarette.

She noticed him looking and, knowing he disapproved of her smoking, sighed and put the pack of cigarettes back in her purse.  "Sorry," she mumbled and for the first time since she and Luka started eating together, wished she was eating alone.  She needed that cigarette like nothing else.

"Abby," he began, and she lifted her head to look at him.  He hesitated, not knowing if or how he should approach the subject.  "Did he hurt you, Abby?"

She paused for a long moment.  "Not physically," she finally answered softly and then turned away, already having said too much.  Suddenly feeling as if she should defend Richard, she added slowly, "We both did the hurting in that relationship.  It wasn't just him."  Abby bit her lip, wondering why she was sticking up for the man.

Luka coughed into his fist, knowing he was stepping onto thin ice by prying.  Abby liked to keep her private life just that – private.  "Do you need a place to stay?  I mean, we have a spare room…if you need to be away from him…"  The offer hung suspended in the air, and Luka could only guess where it would land.

She laughed.  Not a real laugh, but a pained, sarcastic laugh.  "No…no.  We haven't lived together for a year now.  You know, that's why he was here?"  She stuffed the uneaten sandwich back into its bag.  "He's letting me have our apartment.  Going to get me the lease papers.  Of course," – she laughed again – "of course, he doesn't _need the apartment."  The pain was evident in Abby's voice as she continued.  "He has a house.  He and his __girlfriend have a house.  He bought it for her last year.  With __our savings."  She grinned sardonically.  "So you see, he's __such the gentleman, letting me have the apartment.  Don't you think?"  Abby looked down, suddenly embarrassed that she'd said so much.  "I'm sorry," she muttered, "You don't need to sit here and listen to me bitch about Richard."  She fairly spat the name out and then fell silent, picking at a stray thread on the sleeve of her jacket._

Luka shifted closer to her on the bench, wishing he could take her pain.  "Abby," he whispered, and she turned again to look at him.  They stared at each other for a long moment, Abby's expression softening as she realized what Luka was about to do.  Leaning closer, she closed her eyes lightly as Luka's lips met hers.  She brought her hands up to his face, feeling everything very clearly.  The taste of bagel and coffee in his mouth, the warmth of his lips, the slight stubble on his cheeks, the pressure of his hand on her thigh and her hair…Abby kissed him, surprised that Luka seemed to want this as much as she did.

And suddenly, it was over.  He pulled away and moved farther from her on the bench.  "Luka?" she murmured, disappointed and puzzled, still feeling her lips tingle from his touch.

Luka ran his hand through his hair, not meeting her eyes.  "I'm sorry, Abby.  I shouldn't have…I'm sorry.  You're still married…it's not…"  He settled his hands awkwardly in his lap.

Understanding came to Abby and she softened, awed by his deep sense of honor.  He was so unlike Richard, who had thought nothing about bringing another woman to their bed.  Abby shook her head, not wanting to think of Richard while Luka was right there.  She looked at him, the worried expression on his face, and smiled slightly.  "Thank you," she said softly, and it was Luka's turn to be puzzled.

"For what?"

She shrugged lightly.  "For caring enough to not…for…for waiting?"  She made her last words a request and looked up at him, her eyes sparkling.

At that, Luka chuckled, touching her arm gently.  "Yes, I'll wait.  I'll wait, Abby."  He smiled, feeling a weight lift despite his still very real desire to kiss her again.

Abby leaned back on the bench, feeling strangely content despite the events of the day.  She glanced at her watch, not wanting to leave but knowing they'd already been gone from the ER for longer than usual.  "We'd better get back or Weaver will be sending out search and rescue."

Luka sighed, collecting their trash and placing it in a nearby can.  "I suppose we have to go back to work, right?"  He held his hand out and pulled Abby to her feet.  They walked back to the hospital in silence, both lost in their own thoughts.  When they approached the ambulance bay, Luka paused.  "Thank you for lunch."  Abby smiled, laughing when he winked at her.  She turned to walk into the ER, enjoying the feeling of being watched by Luka.

~*~

Late that night, Luka sat in the kitchen of his darkened apartment, unable to sleep.  He hadn't planned on kissing Abby that afternoon, that was certain.  But he couldn't deny that he had enjoyed it greatly.  He smiled as he remembered her sly request that he wait until her divorce was final.  Apparently, she had enjoyed their time together as much as he had.  Touching his lips, he recalled the feeling of kissing her, of touching her hair, the warmth that had coursed through him at her touch.  It had been a long time since he'd felt this way about a woman – since Danijela, in fact – and he was surprised to find that he had missed the feeling.  He had been attracted to other women in the nine years since his wife had died – he supposed he wouldn't be a normal man if he didn't – but this feeling of connection, of longing, was new.

He leaned back in his chair, almost getting drowsy.  He was just considering going to bed when he heard it – the sound that had become all too familiar to him, the sound of Jasna crying in her sleep.  He moved quickly to her room, turning on the light and coaxing his thrashing daughter from sleep.  "Jasna, wake up, honey."  He stroked her forehead as she continued to cry, slowly waking up from her nightmare.

Jasna gasped as she tried to slow her breathing.  "I couldn't see her…" she mumbled in between breaths, "Her face…"

Luka frowned.  Jasna had never wanted to talk about her dreams before.  "Who, Jas?  Who couldn't you see?"

His daughter seemed not to hear as she continued.  "She was leaving and I wanted her to stay and she turned…and her face was gone.  She was gone…"  Jasna covered her wet eyes with a hand as if to block out the vision of her dream.

A lump formed in the pit of Luka's stomach.  He had had a similar nightmare many times, years ago.  "Your mother, Jas?  Is that who was in your dream?"

She nodded, finally acknowledging her father's presence.  "What if I forget them, _Tata?"_

"Oh, Jasna," Luka murmured, gathering his daughter into his arms.  "You won't forget them.  We won't forget them.  We will always have our memories."

Jasna's crying seemed to subside as she sat up in bed next to Luka.  "I remember…" she began in a small voice, "I remember dancing.  She put on her records and we'd dance in the living room.  She always laughed because you couldn't dance.  But she taught me, and we danced."  She looked up at Luka.  "Right?"

"Right," he replied, smiling softly.  "And Marko?" he prodded gently.

Wiping the last of her tears, Jasna giggled.  "I remember chocolate ice cream.  He always got it all over his face."  She touched her chin and cheeks, demonstrating as Luka laughed with her.  Then, leaning back against her father, she asked, "What do you remember?"

Luka sighed, holding his daughter close.  "I remember bringing Marko home from the hospital.  You were so disappointed that you hadn't gotten a sister."

"I was not!" Jasna protested indignantly.

He smiled.  "Sure you were.  You wanted a little baby girl who you could dress up like your dolls.  But then when we brought him home and you saw him, I think you forgot all about wanting a sister.  You followed us all around the house, trying to help feed him, change his diaper…Your mother was so proud of you.  She told me…" Luka paused for a moment as emotion blocked his throat.  "She told me she had all she had ever wanted.  You, me, Marko…our family."  He stroked his daughter's hair, so much like Danijela's, and noticed that Jasna had drifted back to sleep.  Easing himself off the bed, he placed her back on her pillow and drew the blankets up to cover her.  "It was all I had ever wanted, too," he whispered before leaving the room.

to be continued…


End file.
